Maybe I Should Stop Bitching and Whining

I don't know if some of you all know this but my parents are a major guiding force in my life. My parents have been married for 34 years. Both of them are baby boomers that have lived during the Civil Rights Movement and the subsequent historical events of the past 40 years so they have much perspective to add to any problems I have. I’ve noticed that my parents give different types of advice. My mother usually advises me on my health, maintaining a house, working a job, cooking, children, family, my personal safety (she’s a little bit overzealous in this department) and men. My father mostly advises me on history, war (yes, I know many hand to hand combat techniques on how to kill a man), politics, music, culture, the nature of human beings and how to survive in this game we call life. They are both there when I need advice and offer it even when I don't want it.

Today, I was talking with my father about the Supreme Court's ruling on upholding President Obama's health care law and we started discussing the polarizing components of American politics. I was still pissed off about not recently being hired for a job I applied for (one of many) because I sank into a rant about how the previous generation lied to my generation about the attainment of the American Dream. I proceeded to tell my father that his generation had told my generation our whole lives that if we got a college education we could and would do better than they did. I went on to say that my generation was over educated, in debt, under employed or just plain unemployed and that America was not living up to its part of the deal or the promises made to us about if we worked hard we would be rewarded. My father tried to ease my anger by reassuring me that it would get better.  Maybe, you're thinking I should have stopped there but I continued on saying sarcastically, “Oh sure, I haven’t found a stable job since I graduated in 2009 but everything will be lilies and roses and when I walk outside the sky will be sunny and clear.”

After that, all I heard was crickets from the other end of the phone. At that moment I realized that I had descended into an abyss where I was about to get my ass handed to me. My daddy said,

"So you think you're the only generation that's endured hardship huh? (No, I really didn't think that but I knew where this was going.) My generation was lynched, attacked by dogs, kicked and spit on, endured blatant racism, discrimination, Jim Crow, the KKK, horrible educational opportunities and abysmal employment prospects and you're crying because you haven't been able to find a job fast enough.

*CRICKETS*

“You're talking to me about how your education hasn't gotten you what you deserve when our generation didn't even have the damn choice to go to college to even be angry about not finding a job. I know what your generation is facing and I know it's hard but YOU NEED TO STOP YOUR BITCHING AND WHINING because you have it a million times better than I did.”

*CRICKETS*

“My generation, your grandmother's generation and your ancestors went through a lot of shit for you to sit in Boston right now and get a Master's degree so you better finish that damn degree and shut up. If you don't get a job when you graduate then you will do what the rest of your peers are doing and bring your monkey ass back home to live until you do. You should be glad and blessed that you have that option because a lot of people don’t. If you have to apply to 500 jobs and go on 20 million interviews before you get a job then you will do it and be glad. My generation didn't promise you a God damn thing. All we told you was that you would have a choice and you have that!"

*CRICKETS CRICKETS* *BLANK STARES*

After we ended our conversation I searched for the infamous pictures of the Civil Rights protesters being attacked by dogs and fire hoses. Sometimes you have to be brought back down to earth during your hard times. My father's generation and my other ancestors had sacrificed so much unselfishly. How dare I blame them for my fears and shortcomings!? I realized that I needed to shut the fuck up and stop complaining.

Can I Please Have Control Over My Vagina?!

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer says no more birth control for you whores!

Although, I am living in the year 2012 when I read about issues regarding the sustained attack on female contraception and a woman's right to have control over her own body I am convinced that I might be living in the 1930's. This new war on women's health is an attempt to limit the availability of contraceptives and of course their broader goal is to create legislative precedence that will help roll back Roe v. Wade to eliminate a woman's right to choose.

Arizona has passed a bill that would allow employers to refuse birth control if it is being used for contraceptive purposes contrary to the employer's religious beliefs. The exceptions are in cases when a woman uses birth control for non-contraceptive purposes such as the regulation of her menstrual cycle or for acne. Legislators cite religious freedom as a reason for employers to refuse contraception but what it really comes down to is the creation of obstacles for women who want access to birth control. No one discusses why an employer's right to their religious beliefs should impede upon the medical decisions of other citizens in America? I don't know what it is about Arizona but between this, the elimination of ethnic studies, and the racial profiling of Latinos it would definitely not be a friendly place for me to live as a woman or as an African-American.

The fight for the gains women have made in wrestling control of their wombs and vaginas from a state and a social doctrine rooted in a patriarchal philosophy are far from over. It is clear that segments of the conservative party are hell bent on the regression of all achievements, attached to the women's movement and the sexual revolution, that women have made in the last 50 years. Which translates into; they're not going to be happy until all of us are back in the kitchen barefoot, pregnant and the property of men. It needs to be clear that we as constituents, especially minorities and women, should be wary of politicians and/or citizens who speak of a "reversion to the way things used to be." Because the way it used to be was not beneficial to anyone who wasn't white and male (and to a certain extent that's still true today but that's another post). These politicians never really expand on the idea of  what that phrase indicates, which to me implies exactly what I believe it to mean. Conservative politicians should be more fastidious about eliminating the wage gap that exists between men and women in a job market where men still out earn women just because they are born with a penis. Instead they would rather enact draconian legislation  that seeks to constrict a woman's decision on what she should do with her own body.

It's funny how politicians aren't calling for regulations that would curb men's right to sexually control their bodies such as impediments to the access of Viagra. No portion of the Arizona bill contained anything on Viagra and how that could be an imposition against an employer's religious beliefs. What if I as an employer thought that if you can't get an erection after a certain age then you shouldn't be having sex because God has given men's bodies an expiration date when it comes to intimacy. The case could certainly be made. If a woman had introduced that argument in the Arizona bill there would have been swift resistance against it. In fact, a legislator named Nina Turner did introduce a Viagra bill in Ohio that put restrictions on how and when men gained access to Viagra and guess what happened to it, it was not passed. There have been other female legislators responding to the attack on contraception by presenting bills that demonstrate the hypocrisy in the passage of legislation regarding reproductive rights between men and women.

I find solace in the fact that the majority of Americans believe that the pill is an acceptable form of contraception but that means nothing if we are willing to let politicians override what Americans have ordained as permissible for women and our attempts to control when we get pregnant. I'm going to need the state to stop trying to take control of what I do with my body as a woman: ovaries, uterus and all. Men have control over their penises and all the reproductive choices that come with it. Now can I please have control over my vagina without all your damn input!